Funny WhatsApp Status Quotes Messages - New funny Facebook Status Messages

Putting a status quote on WhatsApp or Facebook is the way to show your friends and relatives that, what's in your mind and what message you want to pass through this medium. Many of you struggle to get a new whatsapp/facebook status quotes everyday to impress your girl friend, boy friend or other friends. If this time you want a new funny facebook status or funny whatsapp status quotes to put, then you reached a very right place.

Here we are sharing the best funny WhatsApp Status messages & Quotes:

Funny WhatsApp and Facebook Status Quotes

1. Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.


2. Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guy.


3. I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card


4. A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”


5. I used to be an atheist, But then i realized i’m God.


6. Someone on his status "Sleeping" ... since 3 Days! He's Probably dead.


7. Never make eye contact while eating a banana.


8. Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror.


9. Success is like being pregnant everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you got fucked to get there.


10. God is really creative , i mean.. just look at me.


11. Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.


12. My study period= 15 minutes. My break time= 3 hours.


13. Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor.


14. People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason.


15. Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.


16. I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.


17. His story is History, My Story is Mystery.


18. You Don't Know Something? Google It. You Don't Know Someone? Facebook It. You Can't Find Something? Mom!


19. Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.


20. Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.


21. I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!


22. Had a really great "Night Out" last night, According to my police report


23. Someone asked me, How’s life...? I just smiled and replied, She’s fine.


24. If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!


25. Please don't get confused between my personality & my attitude My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on who you are!


26. Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.


27. 80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.


28. The road to success is always under construction.


29. I don't have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.


30. Whenever i think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think.


31. Some people are alive only, Because it's illegal to kill them.


32. When i was born.. Devil said,"Oh Shit...!! Competition".


33. I love to walk in fog, Because nobody knows i am smoking.


34. Oh, So you wanna argue, Bring it. I got my CAPS LOCK ON.


35. I am so poor that i can't pay attention in class.


36. Warning... I know KARATE..... And few other oriental words.


37. I used to be an atheist, But then i realized i'm God.


38. Success is like being pregnant everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you got fucked to get there.


39. I am not virgin, My life fucks me everyday.


40. Person you love is 72.8% water.


41. People say, you can't live without love... I think oxygen is more important.


42. 80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.


43. She's so fake, if you look behind her neck. I bet it says "Made in china".


44. If at first, you don't succeed..Keep flushing.


45. Save water drink beer.


46. Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.


47. Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.


48. Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.


49. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.


50. In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.


51. I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.


52. If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.


53. There are three sides to an argument - your side, my side and the right side.


54. Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status


55. Not always "Available".. Try your Luck..


56. Hey there whatsapp is using me.


57. I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.


58. Totally available!! Please disturb me!


59. Life is Short – Chat Fast!


60. Marriage is a "workshop", Where husband 'works' and wife 'shops'.


61. After Tuesday, even the calender says "W T F".


62. 2 Things can change a women's mood- 1) I love you 2) 50% Discount.


63. SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won’t be able to see.


64. Of course I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my ass!


65. Love is like a fart, If you have to force it, It's probably a crap.


66. I'm not single, I'm just romantically challenged.

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Must See: Funny WhatsApp & Facebook Memes

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So these are the new funny whatsapp status quotes. You can just copy these status messages from here and paste it on your whatsapp and Facebook as status quote.